The first ten seconds you meet and greet someone can, and usually does, permanently impact the relationship you'll have with that person.
In that blink of time, they'll judge your abilities, your intentions, and your attitudes. In professional settings, this "summing up" not only applies to you, but also carries over to judgments about the quality and value of the service or product you represent. This is, of course, a very long topic. What I did here is put together for you a list of the Top Five Tips. They're listed in no particular order, all equally as important as the next.
Keep in mind: you want to do all of these in the first ten seconds as you first meet someone.
Of course, your long time friends won’t mind being greeted in this same way that shows you’re glad to be with them!
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Stand up! These days both men and women stand up to meet someone new or to greet a friend. As soon as you see the person approaching, stand to welcome him or her. It shows you're anticipating them coming over to you, and it’s your physical stamp of approval that you want to welcome them.
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Don't Let Anything Come Between You and the Other Person! As you stand to greet them, walk from behind anything that will physically separate you from the other person. Come out from behind a coffee table, foot stool, your desk, or any other item. You want nothing between the two of you but air! Why? It sends an unconscious but powerful message that you trust the other person to get close to you.
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Smile! This one might seem like it's too elementary to even bother to list. However, it's an impacting gracious invitation and most of us don't smile as much as we think we do. Put a big grin on your face, larger than you think you should. Then, you're probably smiling just about the right amount. Why is a smile so important? It's another verbal signal that speaks for you from across the room before you've had the chance to dazzle the person with your wit and charm. A smile says for you, "Come on over! I'm glad to be with you!"
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Look Them Right in the Eyes! Eye contact is a biggie. No one is absolutely sure they have your attention until the two of you make eye contact. Are you like me? Have you seen someone and then become confused for a moment, wondering whether they are anticipating you or someone behind you? Well, you figured it out by watching their eyes. In a flash, if the other person's eyes drifted past you, then you knew they were waiting for someone else. Don't let someone wonder if you want them to interact with you. Give each person the courtesy of looking them in the eyes. It's a gift of yourself that lets the other person know in an instant that they're the center of your attention.
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Shake Hands! This is the most important of the five skills because it's where you physically connect with the other person. The two of you join your good intentions towards one another with a physical seal of approval. It's your personal olive branch and welcome mat. Always try to be the first to extend your hand. Gone are the days when men had to wait for a lady to extend her hand first. (Exceptions are when men are interacting with women who are much older than they are, with Europeans, and with women in some Middle Eastern and Muslim cultures.) To be prepared to shake hands, make a habit of carrying everything in your left hand. Papers, books, laptop cases, purses, drinks, you name it; carry it in your left hand so you're always ready to receive a new person.
Follow these five steps and you'll always make a five star impression!
They say you don't get a second chance at a first impression. Have any botched first impression stories? Share them!
Maralee McKee is America’s go –to Manners Mentor. She’s been described as “Rachael Ray meets Emily Post.” With her laid back, best friend style, and modern sensibilities it’s no wonder people turn to her for the simple, savvy, sincere skills she shares for shining personally and professionally. Maralee’s brand of manners is where the ivory tower walls of etiquette past meet the fast-paced, techno-savvy, casual sensibilities of today. She is the founder of Manners Mentor, Inc., and the author of the Manners that Matter curriculum. Her book, Manners that Matter to Moms will be released in late 2011.
