Q. I’m getting married and my best friend is a guy. I want him to be my ‘man of honor’ but my mother says he should be a groomsman on my fiancée’s side.
My fiancée wants his sister in the wedding party so we could just trade and she’s part of my party and my guy friend is part of his party. Mom says otherwise the pictures will look weird, but I’m really torn. What should I do?
-Katrina
A. Katrina, seriously, you are torn? Is this guy really your best friend? Have you always done everything mom wanted you to do (still practicing ballet, playing the piano and not smoking pot?). Is this 2011 or 1951? The pictures will look weird if your best friend ISN’T standing directly next to you, holding your flowers, when you say ‘I do.’ If this isn’t worth fighting your mother over then nothing is and you might as well name your first child after your great aunt Veruca Hildegaurd right now.
This is your big day. You aren’t posing for a Normal Rockwell painting. This day (and thus those pictures) should be about everything and everyone that is important to you. If you really do need to appease her, after telling her that ‘Bob’s your bridesman’ and ‘Sister Sally is a groomswoman’ then tell the photographer you want a series of male/female segregated poses too. That way all the tuxes will be on the right and all the dresses on the left and mom can have her treasured (and sexist-ly balanced) memories too.
One more thing, please don’t make that poor guy go to your fiancee’s bachelor party (unless you need a spy). He’s your best friend, invite him to the bachelorette party. Maybe at the reception he’ll even catch the bouquet, Katrina, and you can be the ‘best (wo)man’ at his wedding.
If you need a gay best friend send me an email and I’ll try to answer it!
