Just found out that your loved one is in major debt? What does that mean for your relationship? Before you walk out, get some professional advice from money guy Brad Kanter, C.P.A., E.A. of Kanter & Associates, P. A., C.P.A..
HeadDrama:
What do you do if you find out your partner has messy finances?
Brad Kanter of Kanter & Associates:
If they are truly your partner, you have an honest conversation and understand how their finances arrived at this point. You then discuss their understanding and appreciation for the current situation and what is their opinion of how to correct it. Do they want to correct it and are they willing to work together to arrive at a new shared planned goal.
HeadDrama:
What are some ways to cope with the news that your partner has a debt or credit issue?
Brad Kanter of Kanter & Associates:
Above all, communicate about the situation so your emotional concerns for the future are understood. Empathize with your partner without losing your focus on ensuring your future with them can be strong so long as the financial piece of the relationship is understood to be important. In addition, learn about the degree of the credit or debt matter. How bad is the situation in perspective to the overall financial picture?
{see related story: fessing up to your sweetie about your debt}
HeadDrama:
Does this mean you can't trust him/her with money?
Brad Kanter of Kanter & Associates:
No one situation should determine whether a person can be trusted with money. However if a pattern has developed, either historically or presently and your instinct is a trust issue exists with money, money is not the only matter that can be affected.
HeadDrama:
What do you do if you're serious about this person, but don't want to take on their financial issues?
Brad Kanter of Kanter & Associates:
I don’t think it is practical to not share the good things about a person without the negative issues that come as well. If you are that turned off or scared about your future with a person because of financial concerns and see no way to correct the situation, most likely you will have to take a leap of faith or move on.
{see related topic: should you merge your finances?}
HeadDrama:
What are some appropriate ways to talk about the issue?
Brad Kanter of Kanter & Associates:
Some effective ways to discuss the financial concerns are to understand and communicate your concern for the relationship and how much you want to help improve the situation. But you want to ensure the future is financially secure and that recognizing money is a big part of a relationship is realistic and pragmatic. Relationships feed on confidence and security and those basic needs are required to enjoy the other parts a good relationship can offer.
Brad Kanter, C.P.A., E.A. Principal Kanter & Associates, P.A., C.P.A. has 17 years experience in public and private accounting. Kanter & Associates P.A.,C. P.A.’s founder is a licensed Certified Public Accountant (CPA), an enrolled agent licensed by the U.S. Department of Treasury.
Brad Kanter received a B.S. in Accounting from the University of Tampa including his fifth year. He also received a B. A. in Marketing from Florida Atlantic University. He is working on his Masters Degree in Accounting specializing in Forensic Accounting. Kanter & Associates, P. A., C.P.A. is a firm that has been serving their clients for over a decade in the Tampa Bay Community.
Brad Kanter C.P.A., E.A. Principal Kanter & Associates, P.A., C.P.A. is a resident of the Tampa Bay area. He is married and the proud Dad to three boys.
