Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush were recently together having a lunch date; they claim they are “just friends.” Some people are fully capable of being friends with their ex, but is it ever really being "just friends"?
I spoke with marriage therapist/coach, Lesli M. W. Doares, who has worked with couples on marital issues for ten years for her opinion.
She said exes can be friends but a couple of things need to happen first:
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Both need to understand and accept what happened to end the relationship.
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Neither can have lingering romantic feelings for the other.
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Both need to be able to be happy with how the other has moved on from the
relationship.
She continued to say, “It's fine to be friends with an ex if all of the above are in place. If not, remaining friends is not a good idea. It also might not be possible if your current partner has problems with that friendship. You would need to weigh which relationship matters most to you and why.”
Around the office there’s a person who constantly gets contacted by an ex who she hasn’t spoken to in four years; yet he tries to reach out to her frequently even though she never responds back. Obviously he is not getting the hint. Is it ever okay to contact an ex out of the blue?
Lesi said, “It's okay to contact an ex if you have heard some recent news about them-they got a promotion, their mother died, etc. or you will be seeing them at an event-a reunion, a wedding. In that case, you may just wait to catch up until you are there together. Don't contact if they have just changed their FB status to separated or single.”
My co-workers ex seems to use every excuse in the book to contact her. Words of advice, if the person never responds, stop reaching out!
I’ve been able to maintain friends with only a few of my exes. If the relationship ended poorly, it might be best to just let the person go forever.
What’s your opinion? Have you ever been able to strictly be “just friends” with an ex? If so, how did you make that possible? Share your stories!
